Well, with less than four weeks left before the end of the semester, I have thought about and put together a list of things that I think a single parent should consider before and during law school to make for a smooth transition for parent and child(ren) in the situation. The majority of these are tried and tested, so I hope it helps.
- Prepare. You can do this by putting aside as much money in savings as possible, saving money by buying certain things in bulk (such as personal items you use everyday, canned goods, paper products), lining up day care providers and others who would be willing to keep your children if you are in need, as well as anything else that might need to be handled based on your situation.
- Be honest with yourself about the challenge. Law school is not like anything else you have encountered in life. Even if you feel you are the brightest and the best, you will at some point be put in a position where you will question your decision, even if for a nanosecond. You must be prepared to feel overwhelmed and sometimes unprepared, however, you must continue to move forward because as long as you stick with it, it will get better.
- Be honest with your child(ren). If they are at an age where you can talk with them about your transition to law school, then it is good to have the dialogue. I have talked to my daughter about things ranging from our need to change our spending habits, to the time I have to devote to studying. However, I don't allow law school to take all of my time and I make it a point to make the time we spend together a special time for us both.
- Manage your time. As a parent, you have a lot of responsibilities which include taking care of a household, your children and yourself. Remember that your "colleagues" may not have these same responsibilities, which affords them the opportunity to "live" in the library. You have many more responsibilities than most of your classmates, and your time has to be delegated amongst those responsibilities. While you want to devote time to your studies, don't let that sidetrack you from everything else in your life.
- Don't be afraid to ask for help. This is probably the most important. I can honestly say that I have had sit downs with upper L's, professors, career support staff and financial aid in the last four weeks. Why? Because I needed help, be it with studying certain concepts learned in class, understanding an assignment, wanting to get information regarding networking opportunities, or needing additional financial help. I wasn't afraid to ask and asking was all it took to get exactly the help I sought. It most certainly alleviates a great deal of stress and allows me to remain focused on doing my best in law school.
- Take advantage of any and all offers of assistance. This deals with things outside of the realm of law school. More specifically, help in the form of government subsidies. My daughter has health care coverage and child care through government subsidies, and our household receives food stamps. Now, I'll be the first to admit that I wasn't too keen on the idea of going to FSD to secure these items, however, I had to put my pride aside for the sake of my daughter. She needs to have health coverage and we have to have food. Furthermore, it is one less thing to have to stress about and allows me to remain focused on doing my best in law school, which is my goal. Besides, I was in the work force for 10 years paying into this system. Why shouldn't it return a benefit to me when I am in a time of need.
With that being said, I encourage all single parents who are interested in going to law school because it is doable and you can succeed. Now, I must get back to studying for finals. Ta-Ta!
